Marvelous Monaco...Not! Friday 11th September, 2009.

JR and I crept down the stairs at 5am to surprise AJ with the news that we were going to Monaco for the day. It has been a dream of AJ’s to see Monaco and Monte Carlo, to car spot amongst the glitz and glamour.

Am I the first person to visit Monte Carlo and not be impressed by it? I tried very hard to look past the massive amounts of construction and the temporary marquees dominating the waterfront in readiness for the yacht show beginning next week (€60 charge per head to enter!), but all I could see was a tired and tacky city with hardly an ounce of class, full of unhappy Prada wearing people, there were more of these than you could poke a stick at. I watched the arrivals at Hotel de Paris alight from Bentleys, Rolls Royces, Ferarris, Lambourghinis, Porsches, Aston Martins, and Maseratis - not one of them wore a smile. Instead they alighted from cars with a practiced flick of the hair, wearing pouts of over-botoxed lips. The men had all been shopping at the same stores, wearing the same labels; Polo Ralph Lauren seemed to match the nautical image of the place. They were careful to shield their eyes behind the latest big name sunglasses, all the while trying their best not to interact with the undeserving around them, as if a smile would somehow make them less in control. They were all clones of one another, flitting from one luxury hotel to the next, forgetting to smile.

There was one exception to the rule, Prince Albert of Monaco. He arrived to a hero’s welcome, the camera shutters couldn’t click fast enough, he exuded a genuine warmth and wore a smile fit for not only a Prince, but a king. The smiling Prince enjoyed an aperitif on the balcony at Le Louis XV, Alain Ducasse’s Monte Carlo restaurant before disappearing inside, away from prying eyes, for lunch.

The highlights of our dabble in Monte Carlo were the luxury boats floating on the harbor and the parade of exotic cars, AJ was so excited and was in his element car spotting with JR. At every turn I thought we would find that special corner of Monte Carlo that made us forget the unfriendly pedestrian streets, the frosty welcome by tourism professionals, and the Gold Coast 60’s style canvas awninged government housing esque marina front high-rises – but we didn’t. It all made me wonder that if you took away the boats and the cars, the things that don’t even belong to Monte Carlo, what would be left? I think – not much. JR and I discussed the possibility of having to be a part of the glitterati to be able to enjoy it but this shouldn’t have to be the case. A few fountains, a marina and a casino (that charges €10 just for the privilege of allowing you to walk inside – they are obviously not happy with the gambling takings) do not make an exciting city; it takes more than that for me and number one is a warm welcome.

If not for sharing AJ’s enjoyment I would have regretted investing one of our precious days driving the 700 kilometres and the 9 hours it took to get there and back, but he made it worth it. I guess we are all glad we have seen it and at least we know not to go again when next we are in this neck of the woods.

Nice on the other hand made us smile. Not that we spent much time there, we only really blew through as we followed the coast from Monaco, but it was lovely to cruise up and down the waterfront boulevard, to watch the twinkling lights, the palm trees swaying in the breeze, and happy people out strolling hand in hand enjoying life. Music floated on the air and life on the Cote d’Azure had found its va-va-va-voom!